I’d like t begin my story by telling you how my life got turned upside down, mind you I’ve been in and out of prison, the county jail, probation after probation and other institutions.
These things took place because I used drugs. I’ve been to program throughout Los Angeles and nothing seemed to change.
As of the year 2006, I was placed under the supervision of Probation Officer Mr. Oden who has helped me more in the 6 months I’ve been with him then any other place I’ve been too. He helped me to understand that the issue was my past is what caused me to run to cocaine to ease the pain an escape the things of my past I didn’t want to face.
I can now talk about it because of the work Mr. Oden and I did to help me face the fact that as a child I had no male figure in my home to help me grow as a man. All I had was sisters and a mother who pampered me and gave me all the things I wanted. So, as I grew up I became depended upon that and felt if I did not receive what I wanted I would have what Mr. Oden called an adult tantrum. And the feelings that came with it would be the feelings of, “I’m not worth anything which in turn brought me anger and that it was my entire fault. I believed that I was not good enough. I was stuck in a child’s mind an as I grew older this became a problem because once I experienced that drug that made me feel better and forget about who I really am.
However, Mr. Oden and I dug deep within me and brought out what was really the problem and now I understand that don’t have to run from the problem or any other. I need to face these problems because it’s not my fault.
I now that I am not an addict but a person who is sort of like weak. When I say weak, I mean soft like a girl. I discovered through Mr. Oden that a lady can not show/teach a boy how to become a man and give that sense of strength.
Ever since Mr. Oden opened my eyes and gave me the understanding I don’t’ have to run anymore. I thank God for bringing me into contact with Mr. Oden and I also thank Mr. Oden for caring enough to help me to be FREE.
Now, I’m not haunted by my past anymore but in acceptance of it. I’m also not just clean but FREE.