Regardless of how optimistic I am, I still manage to be my own self sabotage. I have had my share fare of unhealthy encounters with men. One would consider a girls first male relationship to be of that with her father. My parents got divorced when I was two. My father did not have the tools needed to know how to be a father because he too was abandoned by his father. My father would show up, not when he said he would but when he found the time.
Our relationship, consisted of instability, neglect, verbally abuse towards my mother and lacked that solid piece that is essential to any little girl, the foundation of what a male figure needs to be. So when I went on to date, I found myself selecting men that too were broken. I developed the role of caretaker because I so desperately wanted to be cared for. I thought that if I behaved in such a way, the men would too behave in the same way. It wasn’t until I got older that I realized, I had it all screwed up.
to be continued: SAC