Ms. Vargas_When Nobody Home. . .

I appreciate what Ms. Vargas did by admitting she had a drinking problem and sought the necessary help to overcome her problem. She is a perfect example of how traumatic events can interfere with how we view ourselves and how we interact with the world around us. Alcohol/Drug dependency does not discriminate where you live, your race, your education, or how much money a person makes. I have interviewed over 8000 alcohol/drug dependent individuals and discovered a common thru line in 98% of those interviews. “There was Nobody Home….” Ms. Vargas fits into that equation and here is why.

#1: At the age of 3, her father left home to fight a war- Fatherless Child .

#2: Her mother left home to work in order to support the family- Nobody’s Home.

Each event represents the caretaker leaving the home and the child missing out on stability and connection. Even though each parent leaving the home for a period of time was due to certain country and family responsibilities the end result is the same: The caretakers are gone. The impact on the child is life changing when nobody’s home.

It appears both events impacted how she viewed the world and herself. And in part, because of these events, she developed “anxiety attacks” and she informed us she had to be “perfect.” So, my question is, “When did the alcohol consumption become a coping mechanism?” What are the social/emotional need being met by consuming drugs/alcohol? These are some the questions that relate to my forthcoming book, “When Nobody’s Home…” An In Depth Look at Drug Dependency Through the Eyes of a Probation Officer.”

Lastly, I do not agree with the “disease” concept because it takes the responsibility off the individuals behavior. I know she is meeting certain social/emotional needs, tragically, by consuming alcohol, excessively. The question is, “What are those needs?”

Uncovering the childhood/adult trauma will set you emotionally free. #whennobodyshomebook #michaeloden.com