As a New Year begins we want to make a fresh start with our lives. We want to do something different. We want to make some sort of change that will improve who we are as “individuals” be it professionally, personally, socially, or esthetically. So, we do the usual and make “New Year’s Resolutions.” Then why do approximately 90% of our resolutions come to a screeching halt? There has to be a valid reason why failure is paramount when it comes to New Year’s resolutions. Here are some common causes.
- Are you using guilt, shame, and fear as motivation? Beating yourself up never works. How you see yourself will dictate how you how you treat yourself and others. Whenever, you do something make sure you do it with joy and allow yourself to make mistakes and enjoy the mistakes as long as you learn from those mistakes. Mistakes can be a valuable teaching tool if you allow them too.
- Are your goals unrealistic? Keep it simple. Pick between 1 to 3 goals that you want to obtain. Again, allow for setbacks and embrace them. 2 steps forward, 1 step back. Remember the story of the Tortoise and the Hare? Be the “Tortoise.” If you are steady, consistent, patient your approach to change will become palatable and reachable.
- Are your goals ambiguous? Having a clear understanding as to what you want to change about you or your circumstances is of the utmost importance. Be clear.
- How durable is your self-esteem and self-worth? If you lack self-confidence and are worried about what other people think about you then change will be that much more difficult. However, if you believe you are worthy then chances are you will have the ability to handle and accept change. To help you on this journey make sure you align yourself with allies. In other words, people who will support this change such as, family member, friends, and husbands/wives. Remember, not everyone welcomes change or wants you to better yourself. Be ready to discover who your true allies are.